


Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-22
Updated: 2007-04-22
Packaged: 2018-12-27 04:13:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12073293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justin finally called on Sunday evening, when he knew everyone was gathered at Deb's for dinner. Brian's sardonic "Very cute, Sunshine," was hard to hear over the hysterical laughter in the background. (Post 513)





	Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes:

This little bunny was spawned by [this](http://qaffangyrl.livejournal.com/51788.html) conversation at qaffangyrl's LJ. Thank you to all of the brilliant people from whom I shamelessly borrowed song ideas! *G* Many many thanks to my lovely and devoted beta Zod (AKA anansay) for ensuring I left no 'Brains' behind, fixing my punctuation, and reminding me that not all people are as cell-phone aware as I am. (read: _geeky_ ) 

Garage Band is software to allow you to edit songs (ie. trim them down) and is Mac compatible, Mac's can be synced easily with PocketPC's with the right software, [PocketPC's like this one](http://www.verizonwireless.com/b2c/store/controller?item=phoneFirst&action=viewPhoneDetail&selectedPhoneId=2200) can use just about any sound file for a ring tone, and the 'ringback tone' is what you hear when you're calling someone.

* * *

It started like this:

One of the idiots from the art department fucked up some boards for a last minute meeting with one of Kinnetik's newest clients, sending Brian off to fire some assholes, thus delaying their lunchtime farewell-fuck and leaving Justin cooling his heels in Brian's office.

He probably wouldn't have done it if it hadn't been his last few hours in Pittsburgh and he and Brian had been able to fuck more than a dozen times in the few days he had been there. It was sexual frustration, pure and simple.

Maybe. (It might have been boredom. Or revenge for the Big City Twink comments he'd suffered at Michael's, admittedly good-natured, hands all weekend. But, whatever.)

It wasn't even that hard; the offices had a remarkably open floor-plan and so he could hear Brian's tirade clearly, and it was easy to gauge how much time he had before Brian began to wind down. And he already knew how to change the settings since Brian had purchased them identical cellphones for Christmas. _"There's no reason for me to be paying hundred-dollar phone-sex bills, Justin. Our calls to each other are free, and I need to be able to access my e-mail and calendar anyway, and I got yours for free when I converted the whole office to the corporate plan, so shut the fuck up about it and suck me off already."_

Justin's gotten better at hearing the 'I love yous' and 'I miss yous' buried in the typical Kinney-esque bluster, so he just smiled and said thank you with as much tongue and suction as he could muster.

So after some puttering with iTunes, some quick work in Garage Band, and a few false guesses at Brian's password for the syncing software, (he should have just guessed 'Sunshine' in the first place, really) he was slipping the PocketPC back into its docking station just in time to hear Brian barking orders at Cynthia on his way back to his office.

He was leaning against the desk with his legs splayed, pants unbuttoned, and what he hoped was a smoldering expression on his face - not that Brian would look past the open fly, but, you know, just in case - when Brian swept back into the office, simultaneously tugging at his tie and yanking at his shirtsleeves.

+

Instead of calling, he'd sent Brian a text message saying he was home safe, and had actually managed to avoid calling Brian all week that way. He'd send a text; Brian would call him back. The inevitable ribbing about acting like a thirteen year old girl he suffered with a good deal of grace.

+

Justin finally called on Sunday evening, when he knew everyone was gathered at Deb's for dinner. Brian's sardonic "Very cute, Sunshine," was hard to hear over the hysterical laughter in the background. Later in the week, Michael said that he wished he'd had a camera to capture the the expression on Brian's face when _"I think I love you/so what am I so afraid of/I'm afraid that I'm not sure of/a love that there's no cure for"_ started spewing from his phone.

Emmett told him Brian had changed it to the Less Than Jake version within a couple of days.

+

It continued like this:

Daph came up to visit a few weeks later, just in time for Justin to have gotten into the habit of being the one to call, because he liked the way Brian's smile sounded whenever he answered. So it was a few days after she'd gone home before Justin got a call _from_ Brian, and at the time he was out clubbing. The phone was on vibrate in his pocket. Any weirdness Justin thought he might have heard in Brian's tone he shrugged off as merely the effects of E and Chivas, and didn't think anything of it until the following Friday, when he was leaving a meeting about a potential gallery show and the Pussycat Dolls started singing _Tainted Love_ from his pocket.

He nearly missed the call entirely. By the time it got to _"I give you all a girl could give you"_ , he was laughing so hard it took a few minutes to calm the hiccups before he could actually _talk_ to Brian.

+

Cynthia managed to get _Don'tcha_ programmed in and Ted called from Woody's to warn Justin that Brian was about to head to the men's room with a seriously hunky trick.

This time they got pictures.

The camera-phone shots were pretty fuzzy, but you could see Brian rolling his eyes nonetheless. Blake took the picture right when the song got to _"And in the back of your mind/I know you should be fucking me."_

The webcam got a long hard work out that night.

+

Brian's next trip to New York left Justin with _My Humps_ and Brian with _Hit Me Baby, One More Time._ Of course, it took two weeks for them to give in and make an actual call as opposed to text messages and instant messages and e-mails. After the marathon of dirty-talk and jerking-off they lay in their respective beds smoking a post-not-quite-coital cigarette and tried to figure out who caved in and called who. They called it a draw (because checking the call logs would just be...like, _cheating_ ) and maybe agreed to leave the ring tones as programmed. And only turn the ringer off in the most dire of circumstances.

Not that they actually talked about it or anything.

+

Justin's pockets developed a bad habit of singing _Workin' Nine to Five_ whenever he was going on shift at the restaurant that paid his bills, and he never did figure out who'd changed it.

+

Brian's briefcase liked to sing _I'm Too Sexy_ for a few weeks, and he was very, very careful to turn the phone off when meeting with clients. He was pretty sure this time the culprit was Ted.

+

Linds, Mel and the kids came down, and after they left, Brian was tempted to put the phone on vibrate permanently. Halfway through their visit the song changed to the _Sesame Street_ theme and Gus figured out how to text message Justin with pitiful and badly misspelled pleas to "cal agin plees."

+

Brian left Justin with _The Thong Song_ for more than a month after having dinner with Jennifer and Tucker and discovering his phone played _I Got You Babe_ \- in the middle of a meeting with Brown Athletics.

+

One fateful night - after weeks of _Call Me When You're Sober_ (Brian's) and _I Don't Want No Woman_ (on Justin's) - Brian forgot to turn the webcam off before leaving for Babylon.

Justin quit answering his phone and changed the ringback tone to _These Boots Are Made For Walking_. Brian stopped calling after a week.

+

Three weeks after _that_ , _The Reason_ started playing one night while Justin was staring at the ceiling and chain smoking. He finally answered the phone and Brian kindly ignored Justin's _allergy induced_ sniffling and they spent two hours catching up on everything they'd missed during the last month. (Hollywood was rumbling about trying Rage again; Brian had to fire a junior account exec for sexual harassment against an intern, oh the irony; I don't care if you trick - _I_ trick, Brian - I just _don't want to see it_ ; one of the cooks got fired after Justin caught him jacking off in the clam chowder and, really, in good conscience couldn't _not_ say anything about it; Brian will never _ever_ forget to shut off the webcam again and Justin will come down this weekend and not tell anyone else.)

Brian's phone played _Stand By Your Man_ late Sunday night when Justin called to say he was home safe and sound and his ass still hurt _a lot_ , thankyouverymuch.

+

Justin put up with _SexyBack_ for almost a month before enlisting Michael to load Brian's phone with _I Like Big Butts_. Brian found out about that one in the backroom. While he was sliding in and out of one of Todd's new friends.

Brian wound up learning the twink's name a couple weeks later when he found out the _little shit_ had been bragging all over Liberty about how much Brian Kinney _loved_ his ass, you could tell, by the tremendous _groan_  Brian let out when he came. (Brian never actually got off that night, not with the twink anyway. He'd pulled out as soon as he managed to shut the phone off and later spent a very long time describing, in great and meticulous detail, the ways he was going to punish Sunshine's ass for that one.)

+

It ended like this:

The next day, Justin's phone started playing _Closer_ while he was in a meeting with a prospective buyer for some commission pieces. He dropped the phone twice trying to get the fucker to turn off. He got the commission anyway, and got to fuck the woman's terribly hot son besides. But before the end of the night, Brian's phone had been hijacked by Hunter and started playing _Hopelessly Devoted To You_.

After the first week Justin took to carrying the phone in his hand at all times in order to shut it off as quickly as possible. There was no point in answering: most times Brian hung up as soon as it was done singing " _I wanna fuck you like an animal_ ". Sometimes Brian let it get all the way to " _I wanna feel you from the inside_ ", but Justin only ever let it ring that long when he was alone.

After the second week he was walking around half hard all the damn time because Brian increased the number of times he called, always varied the time, and refused to talk about it.

By the end of the third week Justin was stashed across the street from the diner waiting for Cynthia to call and confirm the new ring tone, ringer volume, and report that Brian was on his way. He watched Brian walk in and gave him enough time to get settled at the table with the guys. Then he walked across the street, pressed the speed dial and was standing by the table just in time for the second repeat.

He had just enough time to flash a smile and toss off a little wave at the gang before Brian was dragging him out the front door again, the repetitious refrain of _The Bad Touch_ trailing behind them.

 

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals_  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Do it again now  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Do it now  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Do it again now  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  



End file.
